UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I am currently reading a book about a woman who does not want children. She marrys a man who does not want children and then later on deciding he does, divorces her after she stands firm. She does not want children. Not judging those who do not want children, because that is their decision, their path in life. I just cant understand it, having always wanted children. When I was asked as a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I quickly responded "To be a mother". I also, wanted to be a mother of many kids. Id tell my mom, "Mommy, when I grow up Im going to have 12 kids!" in which she would reply " Well I hope you have the patience for them!" 
I also thought I knew what love was, being one of those, make love not war types, I was always quicker to love, then hate. But until I gave birth to my son, I realised that I had no freakin clue was love was, until then. Its like you are given the greatest gift. Like your heart is running around outside of your chest and anything bad happens to it you willl surely DIE. I cannot live without my kids, in fact just the thought of someone harming, kidnapping or anything bad happening to them crushes me.
I feel this way, yet I lose my patience with them all too much. I yell if my son does something I asked him not to do more then three times. I smacked his leg the other day for putting his feet in his sisters face like I asked him not to do, four times before that. Then I feel aweful.
I know I shoudnt lose it with him, no matter how many times I have to tell him something. He is just a child. I am the adult. I read all the books, hes not a special needs kid, but he has special needs. As all children do! He is strong willed, one minded. He gets his mind on something, he cannot stop himself from doing it whether Im telling him not to, or his father is. I have read all the ways to get him to understand, without yelling and hitting. Its hard to stop that cycle though! But I love him enough, I will. I love my daughter enough, I will.
A girl I know, a fellow mother, blogger, and children and baby advocate once wrote something I have felt and spoken for a while now,  " You only get the chance to be their mother once, to raise them up once, and they only get one childhood, make it a good one with peaceful and gentle parenting."
Your children did not ask to be born, neither did mine. They are however, Gods gift to us, given to us to raise up and care for, I will try to remind myself of this next time Talons painting the wall, or Eve is flinging hamster poo onto the floor :)

a quick tip to not lose patience : if the child does something he/she is not supposed to do, get down to their eye level, hold their hands gently and look into their eyes, it is impossible to yell or hit, when they are looking at you! then you can calmy explain to them what they are expected to do. :)