Eve Rebecca's First Birthday

well its December 11th. Eve is now One year old. I cant believe how fast it went. But Ive been through this before, I know it goes fast! That is why I cherish every minute of it. Watching her every move. Not missing anything, any first. Her first roll, her first crawl, her first time finding her hand, even her first fart. I was there, finding it with her, crawling beside her. Just enjoying it. So was Talon. the best big brother ever. I had to admit I thought he was going to have a tough time of it, but he was great from the very begining. He has shown nothing but love. Even the jealousy that has been shown has not come out hostile at all. He really deserves a pat on the back, a high five and a huge hug or two. Which he gets everyday, hes my hero, that sweet little kid. So is Eve. I know God put me here to be there mom. That is clear to me, clearer everyday. All the suffereing Ive endured in this little life of mine, is worth it, cause I get to be there mom. I will admit to being more depressed then usual lately. I thought Id squeak on by through her first birthday and through the holidays without having the black cloud suffocate me, but everyone just keeps wanting to shove in my face and remind me that my mother is no here to enjoy it with us. She is gone. Maybe not completely, I still feel her. BUT its not the same. Its not in the flesh. My kids are my reasons, my only reasons....and as I play with them and teach them and learn wtih them, they make me happy. WIth them this suffocating cloud will break free, I just gotta ignore the other influences....and now as Eve and Talon are waking up from their naps its off to clean and make dinne and get ready for tomorrows tiny litle party for my lady bug. I love you Eve Rebecca, thank you for being you! It was a great first year, and I cant wait to see what else is in store~